I thought I would share a long overdue life update. I really wish that I could get into writing my blog on a more regular basis as I always find it so theraputic. I think that the last time I spoke to you in this way was back in March of this year and I was in a really strange place at the time. I was going through a whole range of emotions back then, both personally and with my social media. I experienced some negativity online and I felt a little lost in life generally.
I spoke to you all about deciding to go back to work, I think. I applied for lots of different jobs, back in schools, working with vulnerable members of society. I just hoped to do something where I wold feel that I was helping people again. I had a few rejections, some interviews and I was actually offered one job. Then, I really started to think about what I want in life and what is most important to me and that is my FAMILY.
I missed out on so much when Aoife was growing up because I worked full time as a Head of Year in a High School in Newcastle. I never ever took her to school or picked her up. I was only allowed to attend one school event a year and that was usually sports day, because I needed to be at the school I worked in. I recently spoke to Aoife about all of this because I felt so guilty and I was worried that she felt she had missed out in any way. I am well aware that Aoife had a very different upbringing to the boys, but the same amount of love from me and her dad. Aoife said that she has never felt that she missed out because we had lots of adventures at the weekends or on school holidays.My mam and dad worked full time back then so I was also very lucky that I had a good support system with her dads family who looked after her every day after school.
The difference is that I didn’t have a choice back then. I had to work full time because no one else was going to pay the rent or make sure that we had food every night. I had to work full time like many parents because I had to pay for everything on my own. I am in a different situation now, we are lucky that Gareth has a good job and don’t get me wrong there are times when we have to be careful with money like all families but life is a lot more organised than it was when Aoife was little.
So, I spoke with Gareth and decided that now I have a chance to take the boys to and from school and also run my social media, I should take the opportunity. I would probably have to use my whole part time pay for Joseph’s nursery costs and I had no idea who would look after then during the school holidays whilst I was at work. If I could make a success of my social media then that would be a bonus but we would have to be a bit more careful with our finances. I also decided to start making a few changes in my life whereby I felt like I was helping people. I feel so much betters for this. Then the strangest thing happened…..
You now that old saying “you can wait ages for a bus and then they all come along at once?” That is probably the best way to explain what has happened recently. I struggled for a long time on social media, wondering if I was doing something wrong. Then suddenly, I started to gets e-mails from brands offering me opportunities that I would have never believed would be open to me. I know how lucky we have been to experience these opportunities over the past few months. I can promise you that my boys will never take any of them for granted. I know that it could all stop tomorrow so I just decided to embrace it.
We have had a wonderfully, crazy few weeks and I think I have just been a little shocked. I don’t think we could maintain going away so much as I wouldn’t want the boys missing their parties or clubs at the weekend.
So I wanted to write this post for two reasons. Firstly, I wanted to say a big, huge, ginormous THANK YOU for supporting me and my family over the past five years. It still amazes me how kind, friendly and encouraging you have all been. Secondly, I just wanted to remind you all not to give up! If you have dreams, goals or aspirations then keep striving to achieve them. I think we all go through times where we feel disheartened o disattified but I honestly believe in Walts quote ” If you can dream it, you can do it!”
You never know what is around the corner.
Thank you for everything.